"We're hoping not to spend an arm and a leg!"
This is a phrase I see all too often on wedding groups on social media. Don't get me wrong, weddings can be EXPENSIVE. But the problem with a phrase like this is one person's arm and a leg is another person's casual Tuesday. This means you'll be all over the map with your vendors and their rates, making it a more stressful experience sifting through your options--or you might miss out on someone who was a great fit simply because they weren't sure what your budget looked like.
So how do you find vendors that fit your wedding vision AND your budget? It can be a little tricky, but here are a few ways that you can better approach finding vendors that will cover all your bases.
Set your initial budget--and expectations
This may seem like an obvious first step, but getting started with wedding planning can be overwhelming. There are a LOT of choices to make and it's easy to get swept up in the process. Before you know it you're Sookie from Gilmore Girls letting Emily Gilmore plan your $100k wedding that you can't afford. (Iykyk)
Taking time with your partner to sit down and have some deep conversations not only about your wedding budget but your expectations is key. Some examples of things to ask yourselves are:
- Who all do we need to hire/what all do we need to buy? Weddings have lots of moving parts, so this list can change over time, but writing out everything you can think of can be helpful moving forward.
- Based on the above list, what are our priorities? I recommend breaking this down into your top 3-4 things that are really important to you. These will be the things you'll, most likely, invest the most money in or be more flexible budget-wise when looking for vendors. And there's a chance you and your partner don't agree on those top 3-4 things, so having this conversation in advance will help with any future compromising or planning.
- Of this list, is there anything that really isn't a priority? Just because Cousin Stacy had a champagne tower at her wedding doesn't mean you need to. And the same goes for other wedding details that may seem like you "have to have" simply because every other wedding you've gone to has it. Look through your list and see if there's anything written down that makes you go "meh" and then move it toward the bottom. You can decide along the way if it's something you wan to cut entirely, or if there are ways you can compromise but still make them happen in a way that's more aligned with your budget/priorities.
- Do we have any wiggle room? Let's say your top priority is photography, but your dream photographer ends up being outside of your budget. Is it important enough that you'd be willing to take money from elsewhere another category/priority to make it happen? What aspects of our wedding are we willing to make compromises on to help fulfill our priorities, if anything? Is there a number that you just absolutely couldn't ever imagine going over, no matter how important? You don't have to make any hard-numbered decisions right away for this if you don't want to, but knowing that things are firm vs. squishy can help with making financial decisions once you actually start talking to vendors.
Check a vendor's website before reaching out
One of the hardest parts of my job is having an absolutely incredible call with potential clients only to find out that their budget is significantly below my rates. This is one of the reasons I try to list my starting rates or average investment on my website--to give couples a better idea of what they can realistically expect working with me. Not all vendors will post their pricing, but taking a thorough look through a vendor's website to see if they have any information listed on average or starting prices can save you a lot of time, communication, and even possible heartbreak. And if your budget is below the listed average/rate, that doesn't mean you can't reach out to a vendor! But keep in mind that a $500 difference and a $5,000 difference are, well, big differences, and some vendors just might not be worth reaching out to if the dollar signs make your eyes cross.
Don't see pricing anywhere? Not all vendors list their pricing, but some have a section in their contact form that asks what your anticipated budget is. So check their contact section of their website to see if that gives you any insight into their range for a last attempt before reaching out.
Be honest with yourself and your vendors
Once you've done your due diligence, it's time to reach out. The best approach? Give them as much information as you can, especially in regard to your budget and what you're hoping for in regards to goods/services. Being honest from the start will help cut down on back and forth communication as well as help set expectations and make sure everyone is on the same page.
And speaking of honesty, let's be honest: talking about money SUCKS. But it's really important to have open discussions with your vendors about budget. At the end of the day, the people you are working with want to help, but are trying to make a living--so sometimes that does mean they might try to upsell you on special products or packages. Occasionally it's worth it to explore those upgrades, especially if they're providing another good/service that you're looking to invest in, but sometimes it's just not in the budget.
If there's no wiggle room, hold firm and let any potential vendors know that you aren't able to budge. They'll either see what they can do for you within your given price range or they'll share that they aren't a good fit. From personal experience, I can tell you that when couples have been kind and upfront about their needs and I can't provide the services they're looking for within their budget, I always offer other vendor recommendations. Heck, I will go out of my way to vet potential options for them and reach out to vendors personally to see if they're available and able to help. While I can't guarantee all vendors will be that way, it never hurts to ask for referrals--I mean, who knows the industry better than someone in it?
Don't be afraid to ask for help
This is an unpopular opinion as a Midwesterner, since it is deeply engrained in our beings that we can never ask for help. But be honest with yourself for just a minute: if someone you loved and cared for deeply came to you asking for some help or a favor on their wedding day, would you jump at the chance to make their lives a little easier and their wedding day a little more special?
For example: have a grandmother who always made your favorite birthday cake in the world? See if she can make your wedding cake and then order more affordable sheet cakes or cupcakes for guests. Have a aunt who grows the most beautiful flowers? See if you can contribute to their seed budget for the year with the expectation they'll cut you a beautiful bouquet. Have a best friend who has a knack for organization? See if they'd be willing to help keep things moving day of so you don't need to hire a wedding planner.
Having an open conversation with folks about how they might be able to help you cut costs is not a bad thing and most people will jump at the chance to be a means of support on your wedding day in whatever way they can. That said, keep in mind that it isn't particularly kind to ask friends or family who earn their livelihoods to do something for free or at a discounted rate, so be sure to approach the conversation with their needs as a professional or expert in mind!
Check local Facebook groups
Like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, a lot of inquiries I see are through Facebook groups I'm apart of. And let me tell you, there are TONS of Facebook groups related to weddings. Groups for snagging used decor that needs a new home. Groups where strangers will voice their opinion between the two dresses you can't decide on. But most importantly (for this conversation at least), there are groups that will give vendor referrals. These groups are an excellent resource to hear from other folks who have already gone through the wedding process. While vendors will hop on and share their info, you can get honest referrals and advice from people who were in your exact spot however many months ago when they were planning their wedding. Just be sure that you're selecting groups that are local to your area so you don't fall in love with a vendor who happens to be across the country, and don't forget to share other important details like your wedding date and venue!
