You're ready to take that next step
Buuuuut you're not entirely sure how to do it. Things like movies and t.v. have made the concept of proposing feel incredibly overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be! Here are a few ways to help you feel more prepared popping the question to your partner.
Pick your location
There are a few things to consider when picking a location for your proposal. Do you want to go somewhere that has special meaning for you both, like a first date spot? Take some time to think about you and your partner's history together and what makes sense for you. Enjoy grabbing coffee together? Maybe outside your favorite coffee shop. Have a favorite hike? Maybe get down on one knee at your usual resting place.
If nothing immediately comes to mind, then picking a new spot that you can create this new memory together is a great idea, especially if it's someplace you and your partner have been looking forward to visiting. And what a great excuse to check a new place off your list?
A few practical things to consider when picking your location are weather and light, but we'll go into that more in a minute.
Keep privacy in mind
When picking your location, keeping privacy in mind is equally important. While some spots may be great options based on their incredible views or meaning to you as a couple, they may also attracted a crowd. If your partner is someone who prefers not to be the center of attention, re-evaluating a spot that might have less privacy is the way to go. This is why local spots outdoors can be such a great option—even if there are other people out milling about, it's typically not as congested and gives you lots of opportunity to seek out privacy if there happen to be people around.
And while we're talking about privacy...
Consider your invite list
Some people are thrilled to have friends and family either show up to their engagement or be actively involved in it. If you have friends and/or family that are special to your partner, consider ways that they can be involved. Whether it's helping you get your partner to a pre-determined location for the proposal or being off to the side to rush in for hugs and congratulations right after, having their support system present can make things extra special.
That said, if you think a private moment between the two of you would be more up your partner's alley—or even yours, if the thought of adding other people to the mix feels like additional pressure—simply giving people a call or sending a video post proposal is totally acceptable! Another option is meeting with friends and family after the engagement to celebrate. This is a great option if you want privacy but are still excited to toast your engagement! And it can be a lovely surprise part 2 if you want to keep it a secret.
Keep in mind: the more people you have involved in the proposal, the more likely someone will spill the beans. So be sure you trust the folks you're including won't accidentally spoil the surprise, or accept that you're okay with the fact that they might!
Having (somewhat of) a backup plan
Let's be honest: sometimes things don't work out the way we intend. Whether that's factors like weather or even things like unexpected business closures, it's important to go into your proposal knowing that something could go wrong. Does that mean planning for every little horrible, terrible, no good, very bad thing? No! This is a happy moment in your life, dang it, so don't get too caught up in the "what if"s. But taking the time to consider factors like weather and light can save you a lot of trouble.
For example, if you're planning to propose outdoors in December, remembering it gets dark at an ungodly early hour, so it is important to ensure you have enough light for your partner to even see you're proposing. Same with weather—if it starts to rain, is there a spot under some trees or a shelter nearby that you can take cover under? Or are you the kind of people who are down to dance in the rain? Even things we don't expect can turn into fun memories!
Working with a photographer
Okay, okay, I'm biased on this one. But let's be honest: hiring a photographer not only gets your great photos of your proposal, but they help a lot with the planning. This is especially true if you're drawing a complete blank but want to make things special, or if you want your proposal to be private but look forward to sharing the memory with friends and family.
A few ways you can consider including a photographer into your proposal plans:
- Have your photographer at the spot you're planning to propose, but pretend they're doing something else. Whether that's scouting out a spot for another couple, taking some portraits of nature, or just minding their own business, it's an easy way to have a photographer present without having to be as sneaky. (I've even come with a friend before to make it look like we were doing a completely different photoshoot!)
- Just tell your partner that you're doing a photoshoot. This works especially well if you've already talked about getting photos taken together, like for Christmas cards or updated family photos. I've even had partners or friends of partners tell the person getting proposed to that they won a photoshoot, which gives you an excuse if you're not as likely to get pictures taken together. I like this option in particular for people who might be upset that their appearance isn't just so for their photos; it gives them just enough warning to get all dolled up without giving away the surprise. Just for the love of all things good in this world, do not schedule a photoshoot with a photographer and not tell them you are going to propose. We want your partner to be the only one who is surprised in this scenario.
- Work with your photographer to pick a location that allows them to hide. This is a great choice if your partner is the kind of person who could sniff out a surprise proposal the second a photographer comes onto the scene. That said, this option provides the least amount of flexibility, meaning if anything comes up that throws your plan off track, you won't be able to communicate with your photographer.
Don't forget to let it sink in
With all the excitement, you might jump right into wedding/elopement planning, but be sure to take time to enjoy this moment!
